Soooo for tmi Tuesday….. when Sidni was little, did she ever want siblings, or ask for them? How would a sibling relationship have gone?

She asked her mother about a little brother once. Her mom looked heartbroken and told her never to speak of it again. So she didn’t.

As for a sibling relationship, her father would have done all he could to turn them on one another. Not outright hostile, but enough that the other would always be watching and reporting back.

Under threat of violence.

But still able to cooperate and work well with one another. There’s no doubt in my mind Sidni would have done everything in her power to protect that little sibling (or siblings) from their father. Even if it meant taking punishment, convincing them to lie to their father and place blame on her, or stepping in to do the dirty work on a “mission.” She wouldn’t always succeed, but she’d do her damn best to protect them.

TMI Tuesday

Salty Ask List

autodiscothings:

gsut:

  1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*
  2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*
  3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?
  4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*
  5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*
  6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*
  7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*
  8. Have you received anon hate? What about?*
  9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?
  10. Most disliked arc? Why?
  11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?
  12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?
  13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?
  14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?
  15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?
  16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?
  17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…
  18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?
  19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?
  20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?
  21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?
  22. Popular character you hate?
  23. Unpopular character you love?
  24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?
  25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?
  26. Most shippable character?
  27. Least shippable character?

*several of these questions are taken from a list that was not rebloggable

Salt’s my middle name.

Day 7: Dorian and Sidni Sharing Something They’ve Never Shared Before – prompt by @irlaimsaaralath

This one surprised me and then got away from me. It does follow this prompt and this second one as well. You might want to read those first, but it’s not necessarily required.

WARNING: Mentions of abuse and thoughts of suicide. Please read at your own discretion.

Dorian’s lost track of how many times he’s asked. But she still won’t tell him what she meant when she mentioned the Terrible Fathers Guild. He knows he wouldn’t appreciate prying if the roles were reversed, but he’s starting to put the scattered pieces together. And what he’s seeing worries him. Maybe even frightens him some.

He doesn’t need details. Not really. Just some answers. Vague ones, if it suits her.

Two weeks later, there’s another attack as they make their way back to Skyhold. The assassins go after Sidni, but she disposes of them quickly, looking irritated as she wipes her blades clean and they rush to ensure she’s alright.

“I’m fine,” she says. “They didn’t want to kill me. Just capture me and take me back.”

The look he, Cassandra, and Varric share is more than mildly concerned.

That night, he drags his bedroll into her tent and ignores her sigh. He may not be able to see her glare, but he feels it on his back.

“Move over, Cadash. How can someone so small take up so much space?”

She sighs, quieter this time, but obliges him. They settle, listening to the insects whir and buzz outside. The occasional howling animal interrupts the calm.

Her tension stifles the air. She’s braced and alert, more so than usual. He needs to do something.

“My father … I didn’t tell you the whole story. I’ve never told another soul.”

She inhales. “Dorian, you don’t–”

“He did try to change me with blood magic. But that was after he abducted me from a Lord’s house and imprisoned me in our estate for months.”

Flashes of hunger and fear and pain claw at him. He brushes the memories away. Acknowledging them only makes it worse.

“He was hoping to break me, I believe. I’d caused too much of a scandal. Magister Halward’s son cavorting around the Imperium and engaging with other men. Such a disgrace, you know.”

It isn’t until he feels her shift closer that he realizes his voice has gone rough. The words choke him in spite of all he does to keep the emotions at bay.

She doesn’t offer platitudes or apologies. She simply moves until her side is pressed against his and they lay in the dark side by side, staring at the ceiling of the tent.

“Lorcan … my father … you know he hurt me.”

“He abused you.”

“Yes. He did. It kept me in line. It’s how he turned me into his puppet. And I … I did what he wanted. All of this … it’s because he wants me back. He wants to bring me under his control again. He’ll do whatever he can to have his biddable weapon back.”

The coarseness in her voice breaks his heart. He knew her bastard of a father hurt her repeatedly. He’d hoped it was just a sadistic tendency or that the man was scum who liked to see others hurt. The reality, the pieces he’d tried and failed to correctly put together, is worse.

“Why didn’t you fight back?”

“I did. Once. I drew my blade on him and I had every intention of killing him. But I underestimated him. It was a near fatal mistake. He calculated every move until I was nearly dead.”

Dorian wishes he’d never started this conversation.

“But you weren’t. You survived.”

“I thought … I wanted to just let go. To give up,” she breathes. “I will die before I let him have me.”

“There will be no dying. And no going back to him. I won’t allow it.”

She huffs. It sounds suspiciously like a choked back sob though she tries to pass it off as a laugh.

“Does Cullen know? About this?”

“No. And he never will.”

It’s his turn to sigh. He presses against her, taking her hand in his. Her body trembles and he wonders how many times she cried silently like this on her own, hiding from her father.

They’ve both been betrayed by the ones who were supposed to care for them. Their hearts bear the betrayal of bad parental figures and hiding that fact from the world.

Terrible Fathers Guild, indeed.

Day 6: “I Wonder If This Is What Family Is Supposed to Feel Like” – prompt by @shannaraisles

She can never figure out how Varric manages it, but seeing everyone gather in the Herald’s Rest, simply for the joy of it, is one of her favorite things. Someone inevitably breaks out the cards while others try to drink each other under the table.

Tonight is no different. Varric has Cullen, Dorian, Josephine, and Bull trying to out bet one another. Vivienne and Leliana have found a shadowy table where they can sit and speak quietly while watching everyone else. Cassandra, Sera, Blackwall, and even – surprisingly – Solas are all engaged in a not drinking contest. She grins as she watches them surreptitiously eye the tankards in front of their table mates during lulls in the conversation.

Well, except Sera who is blatantly encouraging more and more rounds.

It’s a strange group, she thinks. Under any other circumstances, how many of them would have found each other and formed these unlikely friendships? She’s seen so many relationships from afar throughout her lifetime, but these are … different. And she doesn’t know why.

She thinks of the beginning. A moment of weakness, hearing a call for help and responding, and suddenly she was trapped amidst all these strangers. She’d been surrounded on all sides; the hostility Cassandra held for her, the thinly veiled suspicion of Leliana and Cullen, Varric’s insistent friendliness, Josephine’s overly polite distance, the curiosity of Solas, and then the others slowly trickling in. Her only thought had been survival and getting back to Lorcan as quickly as possible to soften the waiting punishment. And then … the unthinkable.

“Fear. Panic. The softening of their opinions. ‘Don’t trust it. They’ll hurt you. They’ll use you and destroy you.’ But they never wanted to.”

A corner of her mouth quirks. “Hello, Cole.”

“They frightened you. You thought they would be like him. But they aren’t. You still wonder sometimes if it’s not real.”

Her eyes flick to him sitting next to her on the bar and then back to the rest of them. Once, his words would have stirred the hostility in her. To expose her weakness would have drawn a violent reaction. Now, it’s just uncomfortable, but she can take it.

“Sometimes. Not so much anymore,” she admits.

“You’re better. The cracks in your light are smaller. Like they’ve been healed.”

She shifts, thinking they’re quickly moving past merely uncomfortable.

“‘Mine. Weird, but mine. To protect. To help. To love.’ That word scares you, but it’s what you feel. They feel it too.”

“Cole–”

“‘Steady and strong, beautiful and alive. Her soul is free now.’ He struggles not to flush when you look at him, but he can’t help it. He’s proud of you. He sees the real you. You make him better too.”

Her wide eyes find Cullen staring at her, that small smile on his face. Heat floods her cheeks. She wishes a rift would swallow her right about now.

“Ah, Cole, I’ve been kicked out of the game and Varric wants you to take my place,” Dorian says as he saunters over.

Under his hat, Cole’s eyes study Dorian before he glances at Sidni and nods. He leaps lightly to the floor.

“Cole,” she says before he walks away. He turns to her, tilting his head. “Thank you.”

He smiles and goes to where Varric is pulling a chair out for him. Dorian leans against her thigh, taking a drink from his cup.

“You looked like you needed rescue.”

She laughs. “It wasn’t so bad.”

They lapse into silence, watching as the drinking table explodes in joyful yells over something. It’s followed by a shout from Bull at the card table and Cullen’s face falling into his hands. He lifts his head, looking for her and begging her to come help in a shout.

Quiet chuckles fill the air between them. She snags Dorian’s wine and takes a sip before handing it back and getting ready to rescue her lover before she has to chase his bare ass back to his tower again.

“Do you think this is what a proper family is supposed to feel like?”

Dorian rests his head against her arm. “I suppose it might be. Neither of us would know, would we?”